Do you have a help filter?

Posted on February 1st, 2010 by tim bursch. Filed under connections, decision, sharing.

When someone asks you for help, do you automatically say yes? I’m a recovering people-pleaser, so my tendency is to say yeah sure I can help.

Well after awhile you can end up trying to help a lot of people, but not very well. And not very helpful.

Here is what I now try to do before saying yes to a request:

- Take some time to respond.

- Filter it through my main goals and values.

- Ask myself: Can I really help this person well? If not, who do I know that can? Connect them.

I want to be generous with my knowledge and my connections. I also want to say yes to the best things and mean it. More on saying yes and no soon.

How do you handle requests for help? What is your filter or process?

timbursch

Thanks for your comment. The fun part of connecting people is that your circle grows and there are so many good people out there. Keep sharing, even if you're not the right person, it matters!

jlbraaten

I'm sure what you describe is a common thing in today's world of building communities and being a "Trust Agent" (currently reading Chris Brogan's book by the same name - good stuff). While they recommend responding as soon as you can (even if it's just a "I'll get back to you"), a major opportunity to help comes when you connect people.

It might be a little counter-intuitive to send work away in order to get more. How has it been working for you?

timbursch

Yes agree on connecting. Always try to connect people if possible. My main point here is saying yes well. When I say yes to helping someone (anything from an introduction to collaborating on a project) I want to follow-through and offer my best. I can't do that for everyone. So, it's about being honest on the front end. Sometimes that means connecting that request to someone that has the capacity, skills, and resources. Make sense?